I'm Not Quite Sure What Happened Here, To Be Honest

As if I had to tell you, these were indeed made by an adult. A mentally capable adult. Who apparently owns a glue gun and a very singular sense of accomplishment.

The Perfect Accessory For Your Crocheted, Glittery Handcuffs

This, my friends, appears to be a knit gimp mask. Do with it what you will.
Just keep it legal.

And multicoloured.


And before I start getting emails about it, yes, I assume this was a knit hat made in too large a gauge. I know already. But c'mon, it's hilarious.

The Safeword is 'Al Gore'.

A soda can tab corset dress and soda can tab wrist cuffs, from two different crapfters.

I sense this could kick off a whole new sexualized subculture among affluent white-guilt-hobbyists; it combines the subtle aestheticism of leather bondage cuffs and the bold ideology of environmentalism. Call it green black and blue? Eco-UNfriendly?

"Punish me, mistress, I forgot to separate my aluminum cans from my non-corrugated cardboard! I've been a very, very naughty citizen of the world!"

The only downside is the potential methane emissions from drinking all that soda.

Anybody? Anybody? Bueller?

I just.... I just don't even know anymore. I mean, what the hell is this? It looks like a freaking Snork in blackface, for fuck's sake (remember the Snorks, though? Man, they were great). Seriously, what this crocheted mess is supposed to represent is so far beyond me I don't even know where to start. And yet, and yet, someone was so impressed with their handiwork they put it up on craftster in the hopes that this would attract world-wide ardor and prestige. Well I, for one, sir, am not impressed. Nay, I am wholly unimpressed with this bizarre crap. And I've had it up to here with these shenanigans. I swear to god, I'll turn this car right around.

And there you have it. If your crocheted object looks like a racist statement involving a beloved childhood cartoon, you're most certainly doing it wrong.

Ohhh, Is That How It's Done...

I LOVE the fact that somebody over at cutoutandkeep.net felt the need to 1) make a pair of not-at-all heinous earrings out of old simcards, and 2) turn it into a 5-step tutorial. Yes, that's right, a 5-step tutorial. Because clearly, I wouldn't have been able to figure out on my own how on earth this stunningly creative genius ever found a way to affix such labyrinthine and rare components together to ensure such a gorgeous result. It just looks so, so, complicated. In fact, I'm dumbfounded that she was even able to figure it out herself! Thank god she spelled the whole process out for me; otherwise I might have just thought that all I needed to do was attach an earring hook to a sim card, and not have even realized that I needed to make a hole in the simcard first, and use a pair of pliers to open the jump-ring! What an unholy catastrophic mess I just narrowly avoided, thanks to the not-at-all-unnecessarily-thorough 5-step tutorial. Thanks CutOutAndKeep.net!

**Ed. note: today's Super Awesome Saturdays is gonna get moved to tomorrow just this week, unless I pull my thumb out and get it finished in the next couple hours. Which is doubtful. I'm lazy.

Your Help Is Kindly Requested. For Once.

Just so you know, I'm totally taking submissions for "Super Fucking Extreme Awesome Saturdays", so if you happen to have a favourite artist in mind, email me at mizzdrake@hotmail.com, or homemadehilarity@hotmail.co.uk. But bear in mind, they have to be seriously, totally, extremely awesome. For real. I really don't want any links to crappy-ass, jenky-toed, cheesy-smelling assfuckery. But, if you have the goods, bring it. And there it is.

<3,
JuliaD

Poopsy Daisy

A well-stocked and vividly elucidating vocabulary used to its utmost capacity is fecal matter. Oh, whoops, meant to say, "Choose words is poo."

I think all of these would be much funnier and much more insightful with the words switched. Poo is homophobia. Poo is ageism. Poo is war, man, think about it. I hope you guys do a lot of soul-searching before your next trip to the bathroom, I know I will.